Life is unpredictable. Have you ever made plans on a rainy day? That’s actually the sky laughing until it cries, looking at your plans. When the storm hits, and it does hit, what will hold your ship in place? You might try to navigate through the storm, it could work. If you’re not highly skilled, there’s a good chance you’ll smash your ship against a rock. Ok, enough with the metaphors. If you want to hold it together when bad things happen, you need to build anchors. Powerful ones. And this is what you’ll learn to build if you keep reading.
A bit of experience sharing
I’ve discovered the importance of anchors some years ago, when most of my life just flipped. Just to be clear, I take full responsibility for the mess I got myself into. However, at that point, there was one single little thing keeping me together. A daily 15-minute habit of learning Spanish on my phone. Sounds silly, but at a moment when everything I built was collapsing, having that little anchor was a true swimming coil.
Learning from that, as I reached more peaceful shores, I decided to add more anchors, stronger ones. And they made a hell of a difference!
What is an anchor?
An anchor is something that grounds You in yourself. Much like a habit for your mental sanity. It’s something that gives you confidence during hard times. Anchors are also something to hold on to when things get desperate. Some anchors examples:
- A morning routine. Having a coffee with a bagel. Walking the dog.
- Watching a comedy every Sunday evening
- Cuddling with your cat every evening after arriving from work
- Going out with a friend during the week
- Going to the gym 3x a week
- Reading at least 10 pages per day from a book.
- Making a trip once per month.
- A prayer or daily affirmation. Be grateful at the end of your day, for something good that happened.
Anchors can change in time. Their purpose is to show you that whatever happens, you weren’t hit that hard. Those constant elements of your life are still there, no matter what hurricane swiped you. Therefore, build anchors that will hold yourself together amidst the storm. Build anchors that will give you the confidence you need, when only part of your universe is still standing.
I’ve found that good anchors share certain similarities.
Build anchors that depend on yourself alone
While it might be a habit, having dinner with your partner should not be turned into an anchor. People can disappear at any moment for subjective or objective reasons. Instead, build anchors that depend solely on yourself such as reading from a book, using some daily skin care, doing sports, journaling.
Build anchors that don’t require spending
There’s no guarantee you’ll have all your life a certain minimum income. Avoid setting as anchors expensive activities or dining in a fine restaurant. Don’t make an anchor out of going out to a sky bar weekly – you might not afford to do that every week.
Losing your job or a loss of income is one of the storms that mustn’t catch you off guard. In order to bounce back fast, you need to be in a good state of mind (as good as it gets). Seeing that your good mental habits can still carry on, will give you the power to focus on the matter at hand.
Build anchors through people, in general
Build anchors that involve a social environment or going out, but don’t tie it to one particular person. Leave room for flexibility. For example: your anchor can be going out with A friend for drinks, mid-week or having a coffee with a co-worker each morning. Not one specific person, but A person.
When you’re going through a rough patch, social interaction – although you may not be in the mood for it – has a positive impact. If things are rough you need all the ammunition you can get.
Build anchors that are not time consuming
It’s the KISS principle. Keep it short and simple. When you need your anchors the most, your energy levels will be on low battery. Some anchors unavoidably take longer, like going to the gym. Sports have the advantage of recharging and oxygenating your brain as you work out. But besides that, you need things that can be done in 10-15 minutes tops. They can give you those small shots until you’re able to do something bigger.
An unexpected effect of anchors
When you have solid anchors in place, you’re more willing to risk and experiment. For the exact same reasons stated above: even if you screw up, the constant elements of your life – your climbing anchors if you wish – stay in place. If you fail you’ll be thinking: “what did I lose at the end of the day? these things are still here”. Healthy habits can be a safe haven to return to after you adventure into the unknown.
A calm and positive mindset is essential to cope with whatever life will throw at you. So start building the anchors you need: short, autonomous, social and free. And keep chasing your dreams.
If you have enjoyed reading this or know someone who needs to hear all this, please go ahead and share it with your friends. Thank you!
