I was reading the other day a post of a so-called LinkedIn influencer. He was unable to understand why employees leaving a company had good things to say about their former employers. In his view, if everything was good, they wouldn’t have left. If you’re sharing that opinion, let me explain why you should speak well of former employers.
My own experience
In my career I’ve had several employers. They are not all listed in my resume nowadays, especially the first jobs I took as a student. A lot of them left me frustrated at that time. However, out of each of those experiences I got to learn something.
Sometimes I got to learn that it was a job I will never want to do again in my life. I’ve learned things about contracts and legal clauses, about work pressure and mutual support. In the end every experience took me where I am today. I’ve had different shifts, perks, met different people and cultures. Some things failed fast and I appreciate when that happens. I appreciate it because it prevented me from going for years on a wrong path.
People have individual reasons to leave an employer.
The 7 reasons
Resignation reasons can be quite positive.
Your significant other has got an offer in a different country or a different city. You got an offer you couldn’t refuse, based on all the experience accumulated at your current workplace. Perhaps you’ve simply evolved as a person and realised this isn’t the path for you and you have to go on a different road. You’ve decided to start your own business and need to focus on it. These things have nothing to do with your current employer.
Sometimes you grow out of your clothes.
You know how kids grow out of their clothes? Some faster than others? I also had favourite outfits as a kid and I did regret when I had to dispose of them, but they weren’t fitting me anymore. Same thing happens with employees as they evolve professionally and as they develop as people. The current organisation is not fit for them anymore or it can’t offer more right now. There’s no reason for hate in that.
An employer is a whole organisation and its culture, not just a legal entity.
When I think of any former job that I had, I think of the people I’ve met and the work I was doing. Sure, I wasn’t fond of everyone or every activity I had to do. Never was, never will be. But counting the blessings was shifting the balance towards positive rather than negative. For that reason I can’t put a negative label on the whole group.
Be thankful for what you have and you will appreciate also what you had.
Next week, you will have the chance to read more about being thankful in a special article. I’ve learned in my life how easily we take things for granted, feeling like we ‘deserve’ what we have. It took several shocks to understand that everything can be taken away just as easy. Learning to appreciate the present will teach you to appreciate the past. Did you get to keep your job during the economic crisis while others got fired? That was good, wasn’t it? Did you get your salary on time, never having to worry about how the contracts are doing or whether there are future customers in sight? As employees we rarely consider this. ‘It’s not our job’. Without clients and the people signing contracts, we wouldn’t have a job. Did that employer give you a job when no one else was? Think about it.
It’s your reputation at stake.
Ok, so maybe you’re not grateful for anything in this life. You could at least try to be smart. Have you ever dated anyone who was trashing and tearing apart an ex? A person whom they’ve spent years with? How did that make you perceive that date? It’s the same thing here. I would never hire anyone tearing apart former employers in an interview, because I know the moment our collaboration will end, you will do the same to me. For the same reason I avoid gossipers who never speak well of anyone. I’m not so naive to believe I will not be their next gossip target once I’m out of sight.
People leave managers, not companies.
Yes, you’ve heard this countless times. You may have landed on a bad contract or having a difficult boss. Oh the hell with it, maybe your boss was a complete asshole. That is one person, not the whole employer or everything you have experienced. Bullying can happen at work also, for sure. You can either take a stand, continue to suffer or simply leave. Water doesn’t try to break every stone in its path, it passes it by and still reaches its destination.
Own the decisions you made.
Unless you were sent into slavery, you willingly signed a contract, you got paid a monthly salary or some mutually agreed form of payment. You also had the freedom to quit your job at any moment. You might have had you reasons not to, but at least in democratic countries you were definitely not forced to stick with that job. Own your actions and inactions. The fact you didn’t like you work environment, but decided to stay, growing more resentful is an inaction you have to own.
Conclusion
The way you talk about (all) your former experiences reflects your emotional maturity. Part of that is acceptance of your past. It’s not easy, but until you get there you will feel like hating and blaming everyone, including former employers.
